Hitting the highlights (8)

Silence.

Shannon still couldn't tell what the results of all of this was going to be.

Patience.

She had the urge to talk, to fill up the silence with something, anything. Maybe she could ask questions, and pull the information out of her. No, that would probably be annoying.

"You really love him?"

Shannon took in a breath and let it out.

"Yes." She tried to stay quiet, but she had to say more. "I'm not saying that I have it all worked out, not at all."

Jana held up her hand. Shannon wasn't done, but she decided that the least she could do was let Jana control the pace of the discussion. She owed her that, and more.

"And you think he loves you, because he showed you some e-mails?" Jana's voice had a little bite to it this time.

Shannon felt like jabbing back, 'well, did he ever show them to you?' But she didn't dare. The last thing she wanted to do right now was cause Jana more pain.

"I do. Because of that and more." Shannon had figured out that she should keep her comments short. This appeared to be the 'question and answer' portion of the evening.

Jana shook her head. The internal dialogue was still going on hot and heavy. Still no sign of what it was that she was thinking. Probably trying to find more questions to ask, Shannon guessed.

"Do you think he ever loved me?"

This question sounded dangerously loaded. Shannon really didn't want this to start being about Mark and Jana.

"What did he tell you?" Shannon tried to avoid the issue by stepping out of the way.

"No, I know what he told me. But you seem to know a lot more about him than I do... so as long as you are showing off all of this fabulous knowledge, I thought I'd ask you." Jana was in a rage that had been difficult to detect at first, but now was obvious. Shannon was actually a little scared. Not so much physically, but the intensity in Jana's voice was powerful.

"I would normally never tell you what he told me about you, without his permission, but I guess I owe you that." Shannon considered what to say, how, and in what order.

"He told me that he felt horrible that he hurt you by cheating on you. He told me that he cared enough about you to face you, with no lies, and let you yell at him." Shannon thought some more.

"He never told me that he loved you, but, if you take those things together, he certainly had a lot of affection for you, maybe that is love. I guess it depends on where you draw the line."

Jana took a breath, and then fired away again.

"Did he tell you that he loved you?"

This felt, to Shannon, like a preparation for an attack. She wasn't sure how, or why, but it felt like an invitation for her to put her head in the lion's mouth.

Oh well, she had walked into the lion's den already, and she knew the lion was pissed... what did she expect?

"Yes, he did."

Jana closed her eyes. Shannon was sure that Jana was probably still angry, but that look was pain. Shannon had gotten a lot of stuff out of her system, and besides the fear that she was experiencing now, she was doing pretty well. She had just gone through her confession, and while she knew her sins were not yet forgiven, it was a relief to have them off her chest.

"Let me make sure I got this right." Jana had opened her eyes, and now had a rather blank look on her face.

"You were dishonest with me about harboring feelings for a guy who you set me up with. You got lonely one night, when I wasn't around, and you decided to play a game. This game was a seduction game, where you tried to get a guy who is known to cheat on women to go farther and farther with you. You were in denial that it could end up with the two of you in bed, when that would've been an obvious expectation to a neutral observer. Then, finally, after taking him back to your place, you realized you weren't really sorry any more, and had a good romp in the hay once you convinced him to trade up... not that it was that difficult."

Jana was still looking at Shannon with a minimum of emotion on her face.

"Is that about it? Did I hit the highlights?"

Silence.

"Do you want me to leave now?"

Shannon wanted to escape. It now appeared hopeless.

"Yes. I do."

Shannon stood up and walked towards the door. She heard Jana following her.

When she was outside, she turned around. Jana was standing in the door. Her face was still calm. Her eyes were moist, but that was the only hint of emotion.

"At least Mark came and apologized to me on Saturday." Jana turned her head when she spoke, but made no other movement.

"I didn't know what to tell you. I'm sorry. I didn't know what I wanted, or what I was going to say. I needed time to figure it all out." Shannon felt a little desperate.

"You hurt me worse than Mark. But you knew that already, didn't you." Jana started to close the door.

"I'm sorry." Shannon held out her hand, but didn't try to touch the door.

"Good night, Shannon."

She heard the door click shut, and the lock turn.

"Damnit," Shannon whispered.

She turned and walked down the hall to the end, and then down the stairwell. The stairwell wasn't heated, so the cold outside wasn't as shocking when she stepped out into the night. She walked over to where she had locked up her bike, angry that she hadn't gone home to grab a coat heavier than the wind breaker she had taken with her to the gym.

She grabbed her phone and chose Mark's name from the list.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"What's up?"

"I just talked with Jana."

Silence.

"It didn't go well."

"Oh."

Silence.

"What are you going to do now?"

"Well, I was calling to see what you were up to. I know it's late."

"Nothing. Just watching the news."

"Can I come over?"

"If you are up to it. I'd like that a lot."

"Can I spend the night?"

"Shannon, you can spend the night any time you want. You don't need to ask."

"Okay, thanks. It's freezing out here, I'm going to ride over. See you soon."

"I'll have some hot chocolate waiting for you."

"That sounds nice. Bye."

"Bye."