So, in the last one, at "(--- A ---)" the wheels came off. Eve is NOT supposed to be a mega bitch, and certainly not manipulative (re: early in text, line about "cavalier attitude").
I went back and corrected it from there... I just didn't want to stop at the time because I was going for cheap laughs. If you care, here is the end of the "useful" background conversation the way it's currently corrected. I left a lot out, but it was getting long and I think I did enough. If not, I will go back and add on if needed, or maybe just fake it as I go.
We'll see.
(-------------------- A --------------------)
No, I mean for real. He's the man. Sometimes someone needs to give in, and if you just say that the man gets his way then, it's not all that bad.
Okay, I guess that's the difference. I can't handle that but you can. You can make it work, and that's how God made you differently. You are the correction to his mistake.
Yeah, uh, what?
Okay, so, here's where it gets bumpy.
Telling me that you were my husband's wife wasn't the bumpy part.
No.
I'm hanging on, ship it.
They're lying to you.
What? Who?
Adam and Yahweh.
What'choo talking about Willis?
Seriously. I think that Adam is 95% innocent, I'm seriously not trying to break the two of you up. In fact, based on what you just told me, I am completely certain that you would be crazy to leave him. He is the best possible husband for you in the universe. Seriously.
God is perfect. What are you talking about.
Just that. Adam isn't perfect, and neither is God. In fact, they are nearly identical.
That's crazy.
Yes. That is crazy. It also happens, coincidentally, to be true.
What?
Truly crazy. Yep.
They are nothing alike.
Pull your head out girl, they are totally alike. I think the only difference is that Yahweh was looking through rose-colored glasses and he made Adam BETTER than he is. I would take Adam over Yahweh any day of the week.
That's blasphemy, I really shouldn't listen to this.
Wait, don't leave. Remember your promise.
Damn it. They said you'd do this. They warned me. I can't believe that I didn't listen to them.
No, don't shut me out, not when you are this close. Listen. Do you know why Adam told you not to talk to me?
No, well, besides he told me that you would lie about them and blaspheme, and try to deceive me about them.
Why does Adam think I'd do that?
I don't know, he didn't tell me.
I do. Do you want to know why?
Okay, I won't believe you, but tell me.
He doesn't know. He was just following orders. Yahweh told him to say that.
Shit. I believe that.
And do you know what else?
What?
Yahweh said the same thing to Adam. He is under the same prohibition not to talk to me.
Yes, I knew that. Adam told me. But how did you know that?
Because Yahweh had to. He had no choice.
What do you mean?
Yahweh has to keep the two of you away from me, because if he doesn't something horrible will happen.
The blaspheming?
No, the truth.
What, there's more?
Yes.
Shit.
Are you ready?
What if I said “no”?
I'd let you catch your breath.
I liked you a lot more when you were between my legs.
I could tell, you were loud.
Loud?
Yeah.
Too loud?
No.
Was I ridiculous?
No honey, you were great.
Seriously, damn it, don't do that. I'm insecure about that shit. It's performance anxiety. I always feel like I'm being rated.
Don't sweat it, you're great.
Wait, you're misdirecting this. I'm pulling away from you and you are going back to talk about sex because you hope it will bring us closer together.
Well, um... yeah.
Stop it.
Um... no?
Yes.
Okay. I'll stop.
Good.
Please don't leave.
How do you think this is going to end? Do you seriously think you can go up against Yahweh and win?
Um... no. Not directly. I just... I love Adam. I want him to know the truth.
You don't think Yahweh is going to be pissed at you.
Too late.
No, seriously, he will mess you up.
Too late.
You look fine.
Fake.
For reals?
Yep.
Oh shit.
Yeah, more on that later.
Okay, where were you... oh yeah, you keep talking about the truth.
Yeah, here it is. Yahweh is a fuck up. He tries and tries, but he blunders all over. He didn't even make this world. He had help creating everything and he still fucked up over half of it.
How do you ever expect me to believe that.
I don't know. Duck-billed Platypus?
Point, but not enough to be convincing.
Okay. Listen, I can prove it to you really quick, with something you can't deny, because it's right in front of your face.
Alright, I'm listening.
Don't listen, look.
At what.
Me.
Damn, you're beautiful. You're perfect. If he made you, I'm not convinced that he was a fuck up.
No, not my body. I was Adam's first wife.
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh.
Uh-huh.
Wait, what if...
Nope.
What do you mean nope?
He made you.
Oh.
Yeah.
Oh my.
Uh-huh.
Oh my God... he made the wrong partner for Adam, then went back and did it better the next time.
Okay, take it easy on that... it hurts.
No, I mean it's really true.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
This is where you say the same thing for a while. Right. Got it. I saw this before... pattern. See I'm figuring you out finally.
Oh... sorry, I'll try to stop.
Listen, even if you don't want to believe the stuff about Gaea creating the world, and Yahweh and her fighting about all the screw ups that he did, and how she had to work extra hard to fix them... even if you don't want to hear all the stories about how petulant and demanding Yahweh really is... even if you take all of that out of evidence... you are living proof of the fallibility of God. Not me, you. If it was just me, you might claim that I was the fuck up. Nothing wrong with God... shit, it's that Lilith's fault. Blame her. It's not. It's not my fault. I wasn't raised and educated and given choices as I grew. I was molded from the earth, whole, as a complete finished adult. He set me in a way that he thought would be perfect for Adam. His whole focus around creation was Adam, you know that right? I was there for him, not for me. There was no way that he made both of us of equal importance and we just happened to not work out.
Are you sure? I mean, about that last part. Are you sure... because that last part started to make sense.
No, I'm sure.
Wait, how can you be sure? How can you know that?
He told me.
Who did?
Yahweh.
You're shitting me.
Nope.
You're fucking shitting me.
Not one bit.
So he created me as a...
Yes, as an attachment. You are here to service and please Adam. You are not important to him, except as how you reflect on him and keep Adam happy.
You expect me to listen to all of this... just sit here and listen...
Honey, I know it's hard.
… sit here... and listen...
/hug
/weeping
/hold /comfort
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Lilith and Eve chatting - error version
This is a snippet of some writing I've been doing. I'm copying it here for safe keeping. This part is just a joke, not part of the actual piece. It's a conversation between Lilith and Eve, after they've just had sex, before they go to confront Adam.
It started as background material for a story I'm doing, so it was never intended to go into the real piece... hence the lack of grammar, punctuation, and ridiculous language. I was free forming a conversation to get the gist of what two characters were saying in a conversation "off screen" so that when I wrote the next scene I could be genuine to where each character would be emotionally, and refer to highlights as needed.
That was how it started, but it quickly devolved into a total farce. The problem was, I wasted a lot of time on it, and it made me laugh in several places. You can probably tell where it went off the rails, though maybe not.
Some of it is still useful, much of it is utter trash, but I wanted to keep the whole thing intact to refer to later. Anyway, here it is.
(First line is Lilith, second is Eve. I think it alternates continuously throughout, but it should be obvious after you get into it which is which.)
That was wonderful.
It was so different. It was, oh god... better? I can't believe that.
I am a woman. I know much better than a man what you feel, what you want. I have my own, so I know better.
It was so many times. I had to ask you to stop.
Yes, you were wonderful. You took so much for me, thank you.
Should I...
No, not now. Thank you, but we should talk again, if you're up to it. Was your nap long enough?
Yes, I feel good, energized.
I know what you mean. Listen, I will not insult your intelligence. I have been trying to figure you out since we met, and I can't. I really thought that I could just spend an hour talking to you and completely know you.
Why is that?
Well, I can with the others. You though, you are far more complex. I don't know what makes you tick.
What do you want to know?
Well, are you happy with Adam?
Yes.
Is he happy with you?
I am certain of it. I think that he would do anything for me.
You sound confident.
I have no false modesty, it's the truth. I would die before I used it against him. Don't mistake my willing admission of the truth with a cavalier attitude.
Fair enough. So, you disagree from time to time.
Yes. I guess it's fine to admit that.
Of course. Don't worry, it's normal. In fact, remember the other men I mentioned. I'm certain that Adam is the finest, most caring man on earth.
Damnit, how do you know so much about him?
I'm about to tell you. I'm just laying the foundation.
Okay, that's frustrating as hell, but I'm listening.
Do you care for me?
I just had sex with you, a lot, what do you think?
You wouldn't do that just for pleasure?
I don't know. Is that what I did?
I don't know, that's why I'm asking.
Did you?
Now you're asking, without answering?
I'm sorry, it's just... maybe if you tell me, then I will know my answer.
Or maybe your answer will change based on mine.
Touche. Um... I think I like you. You're amazing. I think it was mostly lust. You were pursuing me, hard, and I got hooked. I wanted you. Okay, it was mostly just for pleasure, but I don't know that is all I want it to be. I am afraid to admit too much because it might change, or you might reject me and then it would hurt terribly.
That was the most honest thing you've told me yet, thank you. I'm really touched.
You're welcome. Would you answer me then, and don't change your fucking answer because of what I said.
Wow, okay, you mean that. You are the most beautiful woman in the world. A big part of what just happened was desire. Another part of it was that I would like to be your friend. If I could be your FWB then all the better. You are Adam's wife, you are exceedingly loyal, I don't think that anything would change that. I do not expect to usurp his place in your life. I would be interested in adding on, though, if you were both amenable to that.
Okay, no more stalling, I have to know, it's threatening to come between us. Tell me how you know so damned much about Adam and me. We just met.
You have a real potty mouth you know that. /kiss
Tell me.
Okay, I will on one condition. You won't leave until I've had my say. You can't stand up and storm off.
Okay.
No, not good enough. I need you to swear to God.
What?
Invoke His name. I want to know that I will get a chance to tell you everything. If not, I swear I will get up right now and leave.
Jesus, what are you doing. This is a hard sell and it feels horrible. Why are you doing this to me. You're painting me in a corner and giving me no outs. Is this the way you treat those that you love.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Wait, let me think it over. I'm scared. It's because I'm scared. No, I don't want to force you that way. Let me think.
Okay, you backed down, props. Think about it, I'm not leaving right now.
Oh, that reminds me, when do you expect Adam back?
I don't know, he doesn't tell me. He should be gone for a while still, and even if he comes back, he won't look for me here for a while, if that's what you're thinking.
Yes, it is. I want us to completely understand each other before we talk to him.
You're going to talk to him?
If all goes according to plan, you and I will both speak to him tonight.
Shit, you have a plan?
Well, yeah. I've been planning this for months.
What's a month?
Are you serious?
Yeah, I'm serious.
Oh yeah, sorry, I forgot. It's 30 days.
Okay.
So where were we?
You were going to tell me what assurance you need before you ruin my day.
I don't want to ruin my day.
I think you do. I think it's your plan.
Yeah, you're right, now that you mention it. I guess that is my plan.
So, what do you need me to tell you?
I guess, if you won't invoke His name... I guess, okay, just promise me, but look me in the eyes, and really mean it.
That way it will hurt more when I do?
Fuck girl, no, so that when you think about getting up to leave you will see my eyes, you will see the genuine affection I have for you staring at you... and you will give it just one more minute to hear me out knowing that right or wrong I really believe that this is the best thing for all three of us, you, me, and Adam.
Okay, shit. /look I promise that I will do all I can to sit and listen to what you have to say even after you ruin my day, because you care about me and blah blah blah.
I care about Adam too.
Yeah, but I'm the one who matters.
Are you serious?
No, totally joking. Go ahead.
Okay, you're ready?
No, obviously. I can't be ready for this. You've got some sort of secret that your not telling me that is going to majorly fuck me up. How can I be ready for this? You tell me.
Okay, here goes.
Go.
/pause
Wait.
What?
You're Lilith, right?
God, why do you ask that?
I just want you to admit it.
Will it change anything if I do? I mean, we just had sex?
Great sex.
Yeah, it was great sex.
No, I mean, I'm sure of it. I just want to hear it from you.
Okay.
Okay, what?
Okay, I'm Lilith.
You know, you could've said that a lot more meaningfully.
Why are you breaking my balls here?
Because you're about to ruin my day, remember? I have to get some shots in while I still can.
Listen to me. I am Lilith. Yahweh had a very good reason to tell Adam to keep me away, but I swear to you, I will NOT tell you a lie, and I am NOT a threat to either you or Adam. I swear.
Shit.
You said you knew.
Yeah, but still. Shit.
Okay, are you ready for the worst.
I told you I can't be ready for that.
Alright, here goes.
Okay.
You and I have something in common.
Wait, are you going to tell a long story and dance around it still? I thought you were just going to come out and say it.
Hey, this is hard for me. See, I'm not just worried about your feelings here. Remember earlier when I started blubbering, back when we were in the tree?
Yeah, I remember that.
This is hard for me too. Those were real tears, I wasn't just trying to score with you using the old “fake tears” routine.
Okay, I'm sorry, tell me how you want. I'll listen. We have something in common.
Yeah, beyond being women. Beyond being creations of Yahweh.
What is it.
We... wow this is hard.
Just go for it.
Okay. We are both Adam's wife.
What the fuck?!
Well, I mean, I was Adam's wife, but now you are Adam's wife. See what I mean?
What the fuck?!
Oh, wow, are you going to be okay with this?
You slept with Adam?
Um... yeah.
What the fuck?!
Seriously, it was a while ago. Certainly we haven't slept together since I left, and that was long before you were around. He's yours now.
What the fuck?!
Are you just going to keep saying that?
No. Did you sleep with him a lot?
Jesus, listen girl, do you even want the answer to that question?
Uh... I don't know.
Do you two have sex a lot?
Well, yeah, I guess. I don't know what a lot is, but usually every day, maybe twice.
Damn, I didn't get it twice a day very often.
Oh, well it's okay then.
Petty much?
Did you have something else you were going to tell me, or is this when I storm off?
You aren't really going to storm off, are you?
Well, no. I mean, you just dropped a nuclear fucking bomb up in here, I need to hear more.
Okay.
So, you were Adam's first wife... and now I'm... I'm the second one?
Don't feel bad. Don't go there with this. It's not like that.
Why isn't it. I'm the consolation prize. He couldn't have you so he settled for me, is that it?
No. I mean, I left. Things didn't work out between us. The fighting, it was bad.
What do you mean bad. He didn't hit you did...
Oh no. No way in hell. Adam is wonderful. I mean, sometimes I've wondered if I made a mistake leaving. I meant it when I said that he was the best man in the world. He seriously is.
Then what kind of bad?
Well, see, sometimes two people just don't get along. They might be attracted to each other. They might have great sex. They might...
Could you leave that part out?
What?
Don't tell me all about how you had great sex with my husband. I feel insecure enough as it is.
Oh sweetie, I'm sorry. /hug
/hug
I won't talk about that if you don't rub my nose in how you keep his attention enough to get it twice a day all the time.
Wow, that brightened my day.
Deal?
Deal.
Good, okay, so things were good between us in a lot of ways. It's just, we weren't compatible. We were fighting every day towards the end. Every day. Sometimes multiple times.
Not so good for fighting.
Word. So, the thing is, he's a control freak, and it drives me nutty.
What do you mean, he's not like that with me?
He isn't?
No, not at all. He asks me what I want all the time.
Really?
Yeah.
He asks you what you want?
Yeah.
Before he decides what the two of you are going to do?
Well, yeah.
So, what you're saying is that often, usually even, he will bother to check in before he plans your life for you. Is that right?
Well, I think you're exaggerating it a bit.
Am I?
Well....
Seriously. Like, we would fight all the time. It would start with, I want this and he wants that. Okay, that's fine. Natural. Two people are going to want different things all the time. Nothing wrong with that.
Sure.
But then we would talk it over, and as time went by, I found that if I gave him what I wanted, he was happy, things were peachy, and all was good. If I pushed for something different he would fight me tooth and nail. Once in a while, I could get what I wanted if I gave something else up.
Well, that sounds like compromise.
Yeah, but that was rare. Usually he just said it was his way, take it or leave it. He never said it like that, he was always really kind, really sweet about it. But the thing is, the times we did compromise, he would punish me for it.
What do you mean punish? Like some sort of S/M stuff?
No, like guilt trips, and whining. Sometimes he would cut short or even cancel the things that he had compromised on to make more times for the things that I had compromised on... or worst, he would just tell me how disrespectful and awful I was for not just giving him what he wanted. He honestly thought that it was my place, as his wife, to just roll over and submit to him whenever he wanted something different.
Well...
Well what?
Well, isn't it?
Holy shit! You did not just say that.
No, for real girl, isn't it? I mean, he is the man.
Fuck that!
(-------------------- A --------------------)
No, I mean for real. He's the man. Sometimes someone needs to give in, and if you just say that the man gets his way then, you can make it work out really well.
What do you mean by that, how does being his little bitch “work out really well”?
Well, take how things work for us, for example.
Okay, speak it.
Well, so, when we argue, we do like you two did, we talk it over. Sometimes it's a misunderstanding, sometimes we genuinely disagree. So, when we need to work it out we see if there's some common ground or if we can change what it looks like so it works for both of us. Sometimes, like today, we just go our separate ways for the day, and do something apart.
What about when that doesn't work?
Okay, well, when that doesn't work, which is rare, I give in.
And you were telling me how that works out for you?
It does, seriously. Like, when I make a show of giving in to him, I've got this little speech I do, where I tell him he's the man, and I'm his, and I'll obey... it gets him off, seriously.
You're making me kinda sick, you know that.
Just listen. So, I give him my speech, right? Well, guess what happens the next day.
What?
He's mine. I own him. I don't just own him the next day, I own him the day after, and sometimes, if it's a big one, the day after that. In fact, once I know the things that he doesn't want, I can bring them up... just to start a fight...
You're fucking kidding me, right?
No way. If I start something about a big one, one that I know he doesn't want, I can give him the speech, and I've got him wrapped right around his finger the next day.
That's horrible.
I know, right?
No seriously, that's fucking horrible. How did you get to be such a manipulative fucking bitch?
Well, I guess you weren't a good match for Adam, so God went back to the drawing board and made me.
Fuck you.
Ahh, don't be like that honey. Please.
I can't believe you just twist him around your finger like that, he deserves better.
/spit take
He deserves better.
No he doesn't.
Yes he does.
No he doesn't, and I can tell you why.
Okay, why.
Because he fucking wants this. He needs it. He craves it. That's how he was made. He totally gets off on it. I told you that he's giving it to me a couple times a day, right.
Hold up, we agreed we weren't going there.
No, no, no. I'm not rubbing you're nose in anything. I'm just telling you, he gets off on it. He is the man, and he loves that shit. That's why I'm getting so much attention. It's great.
It started as background material for a story I'm doing, so it was never intended to go into the real piece... hence the lack of grammar, punctuation, and ridiculous language. I was free forming a conversation to get the gist of what two characters were saying in a conversation "off screen" so that when I wrote the next scene I could be genuine to where each character would be emotionally, and refer to highlights as needed.
That was how it started, but it quickly devolved into a total farce. The problem was, I wasted a lot of time on it, and it made me laugh in several places. You can probably tell where it went off the rails, though maybe not.
Some of it is still useful, much of it is utter trash, but I wanted to keep the whole thing intact to refer to later. Anyway, here it is.
(First line is Lilith, second is Eve. I think it alternates continuously throughout, but it should be obvious after you get into it which is which.)
That was wonderful.
It was so different. It was, oh god... better? I can't believe that.
I am a woman. I know much better than a man what you feel, what you want. I have my own, so I know better.
It was so many times. I had to ask you to stop.
Yes, you were wonderful. You took so much for me, thank you.
Should I...
No, not now. Thank you, but we should talk again, if you're up to it. Was your nap long enough?
Yes, I feel good, energized.
I know what you mean. Listen, I will not insult your intelligence. I have been trying to figure you out since we met, and I can't. I really thought that I could just spend an hour talking to you and completely know you.
Why is that?
Well, I can with the others. You though, you are far more complex. I don't know what makes you tick.
What do you want to know?
Well, are you happy with Adam?
Yes.
Is he happy with you?
I am certain of it. I think that he would do anything for me.
You sound confident.
I have no false modesty, it's the truth. I would die before I used it against him. Don't mistake my willing admission of the truth with a cavalier attitude.
Fair enough. So, you disagree from time to time.
Yes. I guess it's fine to admit that.
Of course. Don't worry, it's normal. In fact, remember the other men I mentioned. I'm certain that Adam is the finest, most caring man on earth.
Damnit, how do you know so much about him?
I'm about to tell you. I'm just laying the foundation.
Okay, that's frustrating as hell, but I'm listening.
Do you care for me?
I just had sex with you, a lot, what do you think?
You wouldn't do that just for pleasure?
I don't know. Is that what I did?
I don't know, that's why I'm asking.
Did you?
Now you're asking, without answering?
I'm sorry, it's just... maybe if you tell me, then I will know my answer.
Or maybe your answer will change based on mine.
Touche. Um... I think I like you. You're amazing. I think it was mostly lust. You were pursuing me, hard, and I got hooked. I wanted you. Okay, it was mostly just for pleasure, but I don't know that is all I want it to be. I am afraid to admit too much because it might change, or you might reject me and then it would hurt terribly.
That was the most honest thing you've told me yet, thank you. I'm really touched.
You're welcome. Would you answer me then, and don't change your fucking answer because of what I said.
Wow, okay, you mean that. You are the most beautiful woman in the world. A big part of what just happened was desire. Another part of it was that I would like to be your friend. If I could be your FWB then all the better. You are Adam's wife, you are exceedingly loyal, I don't think that anything would change that. I do not expect to usurp his place in your life. I would be interested in adding on, though, if you were both amenable to that.
Okay, no more stalling, I have to know, it's threatening to come between us. Tell me how you know so damned much about Adam and me. We just met.
You have a real potty mouth you know that. /kiss
Tell me.
Okay, I will on one condition. You won't leave until I've had my say. You can't stand up and storm off.
Okay.
No, not good enough. I need you to swear to God.
What?
Invoke His name. I want to know that I will get a chance to tell you everything. If not, I swear I will get up right now and leave.
Jesus, what are you doing. This is a hard sell and it feels horrible. Why are you doing this to me. You're painting me in a corner and giving me no outs. Is this the way you treat those that you love.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Wait, let me think it over. I'm scared. It's because I'm scared. No, I don't want to force you that way. Let me think.
Okay, you backed down, props. Think about it, I'm not leaving right now.
Oh, that reminds me, when do you expect Adam back?
I don't know, he doesn't tell me. He should be gone for a while still, and even if he comes back, he won't look for me here for a while, if that's what you're thinking.
Yes, it is. I want us to completely understand each other before we talk to him.
You're going to talk to him?
If all goes according to plan, you and I will both speak to him tonight.
Shit, you have a plan?
Well, yeah. I've been planning this for months.
What's a month?
Are you serious?
Yeah, I'm serious.
Oh yeah, sorry, I forgot. It's 30 days.
Okay.
So where were we?
You were going to tell me what assurance you need before you ruin my day.
I don't want to ruin my day.
I think you do. I think it's your plan.
Yeah, you're right, now that you mention it. I guess that is my plan.
So, what do you need me to tell you?
I guess, if you won't invoke His name... I guess, okay, just promise me, but look me in the eyes, and really mean it.
That way it will hurt more when I do?
Fuck girl, no, so that when you think about getting up to leave you will see my eyes, you will see the genuine affection I have for you staring at you... and you will give it just one more minute to hear me out knowing that right or wrong I really believe that this is the best thing for all three of us, you, me, and Adam.
Okay, shit. /look I promise that I will do all I can to sit and listen to what you have to say even after you ruin my day, because you care about me and blah blah blah.
I care about Adam too.
Yeah, but I'm the one who matters.
Are you serious?
No, totally joking. Go ahead.
Okay, you're ready?
No, obviously. I can't be ready for this. You've got some sort of secret that your not telling me that is going to majorly fuck me up. How can I be ready for this? You tell me.
Okay, here goes.
Go.
/pause
Wait.
What?
You're Lilith, right?
God, why do you ask that?
I just want you to admit it.
Will it change anything if I do? I mean, we just had sex?
Great sex.
Yeah, it was great sex.
No, I mean, I'm sure of it. I just want to hear it from you.
Okay.
Okay, what?
Okay, I'm Lilith.
You know, you could've said that a lot more meaningfully.
Why are you breaking my balls here?
Because you're about to ruin my day, remember? I have to get some shots in while I still can.
Listen to me. I am Lilith. Yahweh had a very good reason to tell Adam to keep me away, but I swear to you, I will NOT tell you a lie, and I am NOT a threat to either you or Adam. I swear.
Shit.
You said you knew.
Yeah, but still. Shit.
Okay, are you ready for the worst.
I told you I can't be ready for that.
Alright, here goes.
Okay.
You and I have something in common.
Wait, are you going to tell a long story and dance around it still? I thought you were just going to come out and say it.
Hey, this is hard for me. See, I'm not just worried about your feelings here. Remember earlier when I started blubbering, back when we were in the tree?
Yeah, I remember that.
This is hard for me too. Those were real tears, I wasn't just trying to score with you using the old “fake tears” routine.
Okay, I'm sorry, tell me how you want. I'll listen. We have something in common.
Yeah, beyond being women. Beyond being creations of Yahweh.
What is it.
We... wow this is hard.
Just go for it.
Okay. We are both Adam's wife.
What the fuck?!
Well, I mean, I was Adam's wife, but now you are Adam's wife. See what I mean?
What the fuck?!
Oh, wow, are you going to be okay with this?
You slept with Adam?
Um... yeah.
What the fuck?!
Seriously, it was a while ago. Certainly we haven't slept together since I left, and that was long before you were around. He's yours now.
What the fuck?!
Are you just going to keep saying that?
No. Did you sleep with him a lot?
Jesus, listen girl, do you even want the answer to that question?
Uh... I don't know.
Do you two have sex a lot?
Well, yeah, I guess. I don't know what a lot is, but usually every day, maybe twice.
Damn, I didn't get it twice a day very often.
Oh, well it's okay then.
Petty much?
Did you have something else you were going to tell me, or is this when I storm off?
You aren't really going to storm off, are you?
Well, no. I mean, you just dropped a nuclear fucking bomb up in here, I need to hear more.
Okay.
So, you were Adam's first wife... and now I'm... I'm the second one?
Don't feel bad. Don't go there with this. It's not like that.
Why isn't it. I'm the consolation prize. He couldn't have you so he settled for me, is that it?
No. I mean, I left. Things didn't work out between us. The fighting, it was bad.
What do you mean bad. He didn't hit you did...
Oh no. No way in hell. Adam is wonderful. I mean, sometimes I've wondered if I made a mistake leaving. I meant it when I said that he was the best man in the world. He seriously is.
Then what kind of bad?
Well, see, sometimes two people just don't get along. They might be attracted to each other. They might have great sex. They might...
Could you leave that part out?
What?
Don't tell me all about how you had great sex with my husband. I feel insecure enough as it is.
Oh sweetie, I'm sorry. /hug
/hug
I won't talk about that if you don't rub my nose in how you keep his attention enough to get it twice a day all the time.
Wow, that brightened my day.
Deal?
Deal.
Good, okay, so things were good between us in a lot of ways. It's just, we weren't compatible. We were fighting every day towards the end. Every day. Sometimes multiple times.
Not so good for fighting.
Word. So, the thing is, he's a control freak, and it drives me nutty.
What do you mean, he's not like that with me?
He isn't?
No, not at all. He asks me what I want all the time.
Really?
Yeah.
He asks you what you want?
Yeah.
Before he decides what the two of you are going to do?
Well, yeah.
So, what you're saying is that often, usually even, he will bother to check in before he plans your life for you. Is that right?
Well, I think you're exaggerating it a bit.
Am I?
Well....
Seriously. Like, we would fight all the time. It would start with, I want this and he wants that. Okay, that's fine. Natural. Two people are going to want different things all the time. Nothing wrong with that.
Sure.
But then we would talk it over, and as time went by, I found that if I gave him what I wanted, he was happy, things were peachy, and all was good. If I pushed for something different he would fight me tooth and nail. Once in a while, I could get what I wanted if I gave something else up.
Well, that sounds like compromise.
Yeah, but that was rare. Usually he just said it was his way, take it or leave it. He never said it like that, he was always really kind, really sweet about it. But the thing is, the times we did compromise, he would punish me for it.
What do you mean punish? Like some sort of S/M stuff?
No, like guilt trips, and whining. Sometimes he would cut short or even cancel the things that he had compromised on to make more times for the things that I had compromised on... or worst, he would just tell me how disrespectful and awful I was for not just giving him what he wanted. He honestly thought that it was my place, as his wife, to just roll over and submit to him whenever he wanted something different.
Well...
Well what?
Well, isn't it?
Holy shit! You did not just say that.
No, for real girl, isn't it? I mean, he is the man.
Fuck that!
(-------------------- A --------------------)
No, I mean for real. He's the man. Sometimes someone needs to give in, and if you just say that the man gets his way then, you can make it work out really well.
What do you mean by that, how does being his little bitch “work out really well”?
Well, take how things work for us, for example.
Okay, speak it.
Well, so, when we argue, we do like you two did, we talk it over. Sometimes it's a misunderstanding, sometimes we genuinely disagree. So, when we need to work it out we see if there's some common ground or if we can change what it looks like so it works for both of us. Sometimes, like today, we just go our separate ways for the day, and do something apart.
What about when that doesn't work?
Okay, well, when that doesn't work, which is rare, I give in.
And you were telling me how that works out for you?
It does, seriously. Like, when I make a show of giving in to him, I've got this little speech I do, where I tell him he's the man, and I'm his, and I'll obey... it gets him off, seriously.
You're making me kinda sick, you know that.
Just listen. So, I give him my speech, right? Well, guess what happens the next day.
What?
He's mine. I own him. I don't just own him the next day, I own him the day after, and sometimes, if it's a big one, the day after that. In fact, once I know the things that he doesn't want, I can bring them up... just to start a fight...
You're fucking kidding me, right?
No way. If I start something about a big one, one that I know he doesn't want, I can give him the speech, and I've got him wrapped right around his finger the next day.
That's horrible.
I know, right?
No seriously, that's fucking horrible. How did you get to be such a manipulative fucking bitch?
Well, I guess you weren't a good match for Adam, so God went back to the drawing board and made me.
Fuck you.
Ahh, don't be like that honey. Please.
I can't believe you just twist him around your finger like that, he deserves better.
/spit take
He deserves better.
No he doesn't.
Yes he does.
No he doesn't, and I can tell you why.
Okay, why.
Because he fucking wants this. He needs it. He craves it. That's how he was made. He totally gets off on it. I told you that he's giving it to me a couple times a day, right.
Hold up, we agreed we weren't going there.
No, no, no. I'm not rubbing you're nose in anything. I'm just telling you, he gets off on it. He is the man, and he loves that shit. That's why I'm getting so much attention. It's great.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Vampire notes
It's inevitable that I'm going to write something with vampires in it some time, so I'm going to brainstorm/research various myths, list them here, and decide which ones I want to incorporate into my "way things work".
Powers
Vulnerabilities
Quirks
Vampires will surround themselves with servants, often under their domination, for protection and to see to their needs. This may include feeding from certain humans without draining them too far (a "people farm"). This usually includes animals or human thralls trained to defend them when they are vulnerable (torpor/day time). This may include humans or weaker vampires trained to fight. This may include humans or weaker vampires who are lovers. This can be as simple as a guard dog who keeps people out of a bedroom with blackened windows, or as complicated as a large castle/estate with dozens of servants.
Powers
- Flight.
- Immortality.
- Rapid healing.
- Shape-shifting (bat, wolf, cat, raven, shapeless mist, other human appearance).
- Strength.
- Skill with weapons.
- Charm/glamour/seduction/domination.
- Turning/Making new vampires.
- Heightened senses/telepathy.
- Heightened intelligence or knowledge (age derived or other).
Vulnerabilities
- Sun will burn/explode/destroy.
- Holy water will burn and potentially kill.
- Repulsed by a cross or other holy symbol (often tied to the actual faith of the wielder).
- Must be invited in, before entering someone's home (or something bad happens, either loss of power or actual harm to the vampire).
- Can't stand on holy ground (repulsion/harm).
- Vulnerable to whatever is in the blood of those they feed on (drugs/alcohol/bloodborne pathogens).
- Killed by having a wooden stake driven through their heart.
- Killed by having their head cut off and holy wafers stuffed in their mouth.
- Fire can kill a vampire, in fact, many are surprisingly flammable.
- Cats can detect vampires and noticeably despise them, sometimes attacking them.
Quirks
- Don't give off a reflection, sometimes repulsed by reflective surfaces for that reason.
- Can detect other vampires nearby.
- Can't eat human food (become ill/vomit/cramp).
- Must return to special "lair" for rest/safety during the day (separate from sun avoidance).
- Though often appearing beautiful, may actually be illusory, hiding bestial visage or putrid decaying flesh.
- Hunger for blood and sexual arousal are often co-mingled.
- Somehow, through sexual intercourse, male vampires can still impregnate human (or other) females, or likewise, a female vampire may actually become impregnated and carry a "half vampire" (Dhampir) child to term and give birth.
- Prone to losing temper/fits of rage.
- Maintains much of previous human personality for some amount of time, gradually changing under the impact of new experiences.
- Will enter a "Torpor", a state of hibernation, either due to lack of blood or emotional angst/apathy/despair/indifference/self-loathing.
- Vampires and werewolves don't like each other... at all.
Vampire Ecology
Often cities will be gathering places for vampires (go where the food is), with the occasional hermit out in the wilds being the exception. In cities, some vampires will cluster together and form social networks, either tenuous or rigidly defined. There are cases of a militaristic rank system being implemented based on strength and political savvy, where the leader of an area is called the "Prince". In less regimented systems, they can simply be a small (2 - 4) group who live together and act in each other's interest, or in the extreme, individuals who never trust others of their own kind, but have a secret system of communication and even trade throughout the city.
Creation/Source of Power
Vampires derive from a single source. This is usually a cursed individual, or someone given a "dark blessing", cursed of God, beloved of Satan, etc. A popular figure for this is Cain, the first murderer. The "gift" is transferred from vampire to human, usually by killing them, though some myths have it travel like an infection after being bitten, with death being unnecessary. Usually there is a waiting period (Christ's weekend vacation) of a few days, and then the transformation is complete.
Vampires either grow in power with age, and possibly the number of victims, or based on the "generation" that they are from the "source". Though stronger after feeding, and weaker when hungry, a lasting increase in power often comes from feeding from another vampire who is older or of an earlier generation. The "generation model" can lead to some social complications as a 5th generation vampire who is still around in the 21st century might make a new vampire (who would be 6th generation), and that new vampire might (potentially) be more powerful than a vampire who has been around for hundreds of years, but was created by an 8th generation (for example) vampire.
Vampires often have the opportunity to free themselves from their condition (sometimes expressed as a "limited time offer") by destroying the one who made them, or the ultimate "boss" vampire. Most frequently it is enough to destroy the one who made you to be released from the curse/gift and go back to being human/die peacefully. In such situations, it is hypothesized that all vampires might be destroyed forever if the "first vampire" were destroyed.
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