Lilith and Eve chatting - error version

This is a snippet of some writing I've been doing. I'm copying it here for safe keeping. This part is just a joke, not part of the actual piece. It's a conversation between Lilith and Eve, after they've just had sex, before they go to confront Adam.

It started as background material for a story I'm doing, so it was never intended to go into the real piece... hence the lack of grammar, punctuation, and ridiculous language. I was free forming a conversation to get the gist of what two characters were saying in a conversation "off screen" so that when I wrote the next scene I could be genuine to where each character would be emotionally, and refer to highlights as needed.

That was how it started, but it quickly devolved into a total farce. The problem was, I wasted a lot of time on it, and it made me laugh in several places. You can probably tell where it went off the rails, though maybe not.

Some of it is still useful, much of it is utter trash, but I wanted to keep the whole thing intact to refer to later. Anyway, here it is.

(First line is Lilith, second is Eve. I think it alternates continuously throughout, but it should be obvious after you get into it which is which.)


That was wonderful.

It was so different. It was, oh god... better? I can't believe that.

I am a woman. I know much better than a man what you feel, what you want. I have my own, so I know better.

It was so many times. I had to ask you to stop.

Yes, you were wonderful. You took so much for me, thank you.

Should I...

No, not now. Thank you, but we should talk again, if you're up to it. Was your nap long enough?

Yes, I feel good, energized.

I know what you mean. Listen, I will not insult your intelligence. I have been trying to figure you out since we met, and I can't. I really thought that I could just spend an hour talking to you and completely know you.

Why is that?

Well, I can with the others. You though, you are far more complex. I don't know what makes you tick.

What do you want to know?

Well, are you happy with Adam?

Yes.

Is he happy with you?

I am certain of it. I think that he would do anything for me.

You sound confident.

I have no false modesty, it's the truth. I would die before I used it against him. Don't mistake my willing admission of the truth with a cavalier attitude.

Fair enough. So, you disagree from time to time.

Yes. I guess it's fine to admit that.

Of course. Don't worry, it's normal. In fact, remember the other men I mentioned. I'm certain that Adam is the finest, most caring man on earth.

Damnit, how do you know so much about him?

I'm about to tell you. I'm just laying the foundation.

Okay, that's frustrating as hell, but I'm listening.

Do you care for me?

I just had sex with you, a lot, what do you think?

You wouldn't do that just for pleasure?

I don't know. Is that what I did?

I don't know, that's why I'm asking.

Did you?

Now you're asking, without answering?

I'm sorry, it's just... maybe if you tell me, then I will know my answer.

Or maybe your answer will change based on mine.

Touche. Um... I think I like you. You're amazing. I think it was mostly lust. You were pursuing me, hard, and I got hooked. I wanted you. Okay, it was mostly just for pleasure, but I don't know that is all I want it to be. I am afraid to admit too much because it might change, or you might reject me and then it would hurt terribly.

That was the most honest thing you've told me yet, thank you. I'm really touched.

You're welcome. Would you answer me then, and don't change your fucking answer because of what I said.

Wow, okay, you mean that. You are the most beautiful woman in the world. A big part of what just happened was desire. Another part of it was that I would like to be your friend. If I could be your FWB then all the better. You are Adam's wife, you are exceedingly loyal, I don't think that anything would change that. I do not expect to usurp his place in your life. I would be interested in adding on, though, if you were both amenable to that.

Okay, no more stalling, I have to know, it's threatening to come between us. Tell me how you know so damned much about Adam and me. We just met.

You have a real potty mouth you know that. /kiss

Tell me.

Okay, I will on one condition. You won't leave until I've had my say. You can't stand up and storm off.

Okay.

No, not good enough. I need you to swear to God.

What?

Invoke His name. I want to know that I will get a chance to tell you everything. If not, I swear I will get up right now and leave.

Jesus, what are you doing. This is a hard sell and it feels horrible. Why are you doing this to me. You're painting me in a corner and giving me no outs. Is this the way you treat those that you love.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Wait, let me think it over. I'm scared. It's because I'm scared. No, I don't want to force you that way. Let me think.

Okay, you backed down, props. Think about it, I'm not leaving right now.

Oh, that reminds me, when do you expect Adam back?

I don't know, he doesn't tell me. He should be gone for a while still, and even if he comes back, he won't look for me here for a while, if that's what you're thinking.

Yes, it is. I want us to completely understand each other before we talk to him.

You're going to talk to him?

If all goes according to plan, you and I will both speak to him tonight.

Shit, you have a plan?

Well, yeah. I've been planning this for months.

What's a month?

Are you serious?

Yeah, I'm serious.

Oh yeah, sorry, I forgot. It's 30 days.

Okay.

So where were we?

You were going to tell me what assurance you need before you ruin my day.

I don't want to ruin my day.

I think you do. I think it's your plan.

Yeah, you're right, now that you mention it. I guess that is my plan.

So, what do you need me to tell you?

I guess, if you won't invoke His name... I guess, okay, just promise me, but look me in the eyes, and really mean it.

That way it will hurt more when I do?

Fuck girl, no, so that when you think about getting up to leave you will see my eyes, you will see the genuine affection I have for you staring at you... and you will give it just one more minute to hear me out knowing that right or wrong I really believe that this is the best thing for all three of us, you, me, and Adam.

Okay, shit. /look I promise that I will do all I can to sit and listen to what you have to say even after you ruin my day, because you care about me and blah blah blah.

I care about Adam too.

Yeah, but I'm the one who matters.

Are you serious?

No, totally joking. Go ahead.

Okay, you're ready?

No, obviously. I can't be ready for this. You've got some sort of secret that your not telling me that is going to majorly fuck me up. How can I be ready for this? You tell me.

Okay, here goes.

Go.

/pause

Wait.

What?

You're Lilith, right?

God, why do you ask that?

I just want you to admit it.

Will it change anything if I do? I mean, we just had sex?

Great sex.

Yeah, it was great sex.

No, I mean, I'm sure of it. I just want to hear it from you.

Okay.

Okay, what?

Okay, I'm Lilith.

You know, you could've said that a lot more meaningfully.

Why are you breaking my balls here?

Because you're about to ruin my day, remember? I have to get some shots in while I still can.

Listen to me. I am Lilith. Yahweh had a very good reason to tell Adam to keep me away, but I swear to you, I will NOT tell you a lie, and I am NOT a threat to either you or Adam. I swear.

Shit.

You said you knew.

Yeah, but still. Shit.

Okay, are you ready for the worst.

I told you I can't be ready for that.

Alright, here goes.

Okay.

You and I have something in common.

Wait, are you going to tell a long story and dance around it still? I thought you were just going to come out and say it.

Hey, this is hard for me. See, I'm not just worried about your feelings here. Remember earlier when I started blubbering, back when we were in the tree?

Yeah, I remember that.

This is hard for me too. Those were real tears, I wasn't just trying to score with you using the old “fake tears” routine.

Okay, I'm sorry, tell me how you want. I'll listen. We have something in common.

Yeah, beyond being women. Beyond being creations of Yahweh.

What is it.

We... wow this is hard.

Just go for it.

Okay. We are both Adam's wife.

What the fuck?!

Well, I mean, I was Adam's wife, but now you are Adam's wife. See what I mean?

What the fuck?!

Oh, wow, are you going to be okay with this?

You slept with Adam?

Um... yeah.

What the fuck?!

Seriously, it was a while ago. Certainly we haven't slept together since I left, and that was long before you were around. He's yours now.

What the fuck?!

Are you just going to keep saying that?

No. Did you sleep with him a lot?

Jesus, listen girl, do you even want the answer to that question?

Uh... I don't know.

Do you two have sex a lot?

Well, yeah, I guess. I don't know what a lot is, but usually every day, maybe twice.

Damn, I didn't get it twice a day very often.

Oh, well it's okay then.

Petty much?

Did you have something else you were going to tell me, or is this when I storm off?

You aren't really going to storm off, are you?

Well, no. I mean, you just dropped a nuclear fucking bomb up in here, I need to hear more.

Okay.

So, you were Adam's first wife... and now I'm... I'm the second one?

Don't feel bad. Don't go there with this. It's not like that.

Why isn't it. I'm the consolation prize. He couldn't have you so he settled for me, is that it?

No. I mean, I left. Things didn't work out between us. The fighting, it was bad.

What do you mean bad. He didn't hit you did...

Oh no. No way in hell. Adam is wonderful. I mean, sometimes I've wondered if I made a mistake leaving. I meant it when I said that he was the best man in the world. He seriously is.

Then what kind of bad?

Well, see, sometimes two people just don't get along. They might be attracted to each other. They might have great sex. They might...

Could you leave that part out?

What?

Don't tell me all about how you had great sex with my husband. I feel insecure enough as it is.

Oh sweetie, I'm sorry. /hug

/hug

I won't talk about that if you don't rub my nose in how you keep his attention enough to get it twice a day all the time.

Wow, that brightened my day.

Deal?

Deal.

Good, okay, so things were good between us in a lot of ways. It's just, we weren't compatible. We were fighting every day towards the end. Every day. Sometimes multiple times.

Not so good for fighting.

Word. So, the thing is, he's a control freak, and it drives me nutty.

What do you mean, he's not like that with me?

He isn't?

No, not at all. He asks me what I want all the time.

Really?

Yeah.

He asks you what you want?

Yeah.

Before he decides what the two of you are going to do?

Well, yeah.

So, what you're saying is that often, usually even, he will bother to check in before he plans your life for you. Is that right?

Well, I think you're exaggerating it a bit.

Am I?

Well....

Seriously. Like, we would fight all the time. It would start with, I want this and he wants that. Okay, that's fine. Natural. Two people are going to want different things all the time. Nothing wrong with that.

Sure.

But then we would talk it over, and as time went by, I found that if I gave him what I wanted, he was happy, things were peachy, and all was good. If I pushed for something different he would fight me tooth and nail. Once in a while, I could get what I wanted if I gave something else up.

Well, that sounds like compromise.

Yeah, but that was rare. Usually he just said it was his way, take it or leave it. He never said it like that, he was always really kind, really sweet about it. But the thing is, the times we did compromise, he would punish me for it.

What do you mean punish? Like some sort of S/M stuff?

No, like guilt trips, and whining. Sometimes he would cut short or even cancel the things that he had compromised on to make more times for the things that I had compromised on... or worst, he would just tell me how disrespectful and awful I was for not just giving him what he wanted. He honestly thought that it was my place, as his wife, to just roll over and submit to him whenever he wanted something different.

Well...

Well what?

Well, isn't it?

Holy shit! You did not just say that.

No, for real girl, isn't it? I mean, he is the man.

Fuck that!

(-------------------- A --------------------)

No, I mean for real. He's the man. Sometimes someone needs to give in, and if you just say that the man gets his way then, you can make it work out really well.

What do you mean by that, how does being his little bitch “work out really well”?

Well, take how things work for us, for example.

Okay, speak it.

Well, so, when we argue, we do like you two did, we talk it over. Sometimes it's a misunderstanding, sometimes we genuinely disagree. So, when we need to work it out we see if there's some common ground or if we can change what it looks like so it works for both of us. Sometimes, like today, we just go our separate ways for the day, and do something apart.

What about when that doesn't work?

Okay, well, when that doesn't work, which is rare, I give in.

And you were telling me how that works out for you?

It does, seriously. Like, when I make a show of giving in to him, I've got this little speech I do, where I tell him he's the man, and I'm his, and I'll obey... it gets him off, seriously.

You're making me kinda sick, you know that.

Just listen. So, I give him my speech, right? Well, guess what happens the next day.

What?

He's mine. I own him. I don't just own him the next day, I own him the day after, and sometimes, if it's a big one, the day after that. In fact, once I know the things that he doesn't want, I can bring them up... just to start a fight...

You're fucking kidding me, right?

No way. If I start something about a big one, one that I know he doesn't want, I can give him the speech, and I've got him wrapped right around his finger the next day.

That's horrible.

I know, right?

No seriously, that's fucking horrible. How did you get to be such a manipulative fucking bitch?

Well, I guess you weren't a good match for Adam, so God went back to the drawing board and made me.

Fuck you.

Ahh, don't be like that honey. Please.

I can't believe you just twist him around your finger like that, he deserves better.

/spit take

He deserves better.

No he doesn't.

Yes he does.

No he doesn't, and I can tell you why.

Okay, why.

Because he fucking wants this. He needs it. He craves it. That's how he was made. He totally gets off on it. I told you that he's giving it to me a couple times a day, right.

Hold up, we agreed we weren't going there.

No, no, no. I'm not rubbing you're nose in anything. I'm just telling you, he gets off on it. He is the man, and he loves that shit. That's why I'm getting so much attention. It's great.