Lilith and Eve chatting - corrected version

So, in the last one, at "(--- A ---)" the wheels came off. Eve is NOT supposed to be a mega bitch, and certainly not manipulative (re: early in text, line about "cavalier attitude").

I went back and corrected it from there... I just didn't want to stop at the time because I was going for cheap laughs. If you care, here is the end of the "useful" background conversation the way it's currently corrected. I left a lot out, but it was getting long and I think I did enough. If not, I will go back and add on if needed, or maybe just fake it as I go.

We'll see.


(-------------------- A --------------------)

No, I mean for real. He's the man. Sometimes someone needs to give in, and if you just say that the man gets his way then, it's not all that bad.

Okay, I guess that's the difference. I can't handle that but you can. You can make it work, and that's how God made you differently. You are the correction to his mistake.

Yeah, uh, what?

Okay, so, here's where it gets bumpy.

Telling me that you were my husband's wife wasn't the bumpy part.

No.

I'm hanging on, ship it.

They're lying to you.

What? Who?

Adam and Yahweh.

What'choo talking about Willis?

Seriously. I think that Adam is 95% innocent, I'm seriously not trying to break the two of you up. In fact, based on what you just told me, I am completely certain that you would be crazy to leave him. He is the best possible husband for you in the universe. Seriously.

God is perfect. What are you talking about.

Just that. Adam isn't perfect, and neither is God. In fact, they are nearly identical.

That's crazy.

Yes. That is crazy. It also happens, coincidentally, to be true.

What?

Truly crazy. Yep.

They are nothing alike.

Pull your head out girl, they are totally alike. I think the only difference is that Yahweh was looking through rose-colored glasses and he made Adam BETTER than he is. I would take Adam over Yahweh any day of the week.

That's blasphemy, I really shouldn't listen to this.

Wait, don't leave. Remember your promise.

Damn it. They said you'd do this. They warned me. I can't believe that I didn't listen to them.

No, don't shut me out, not when you are this close. Listen. Do you know why Adam told you not to talk to me?

No, well, besides he told me that you would lie about them and blaspheme, and try to deceive me about them.

Why does Adam think I'd do that?

I don't know, he didn't tell me.

I do. Do you want to know why?

Okay, I won't believe you, but tell me.

He doesn't know. He was just following orders. Yahweh told him to say that.

Shit. I believe that.

And do you know what else?

What?

Yahweh said the same thing to Adam. He is under the same prohibition not to talk to me.

Yes, I knew that. Adam told me. But how did you know that?

Because Yahweh had to. He had no choice.

What do you mean?

Yahweh has to keep the two of you away from me, because if he doesn't something horrible will happen.

The blaspheming?

No, the truth.

What, there's more?

Yes.

Shit.

Are you ready?

What if I said “no”?

I'd let you catch your breath.

I liked you a lot more when you were between my legs.

I could tell, you were loud.

Loud?

Yeah.

Too loud?

No.

Was I ridiculous?

No honey, you were great.

Seriously, damn it, don't do that. I'm insecure about that shit. It's performance anxiety. I always feel like I'm being rated.

Don't sweat it, you're great.

Wait, you're misdirecting this. I'm pulling away from you and you are going back to talk about sex because you hope it will bring us closer together.

Well, um... yeah.

Stop it.

Um... no?

Yes.

Okay. I'll stop.

Good.

Please don't leave.

How do you think this is going to end? Do you seriously think you can go up against Yahweh and win?

Um... no. Not directly. I just... I love Adam. I want him to know the truth.

You don't think Yahweh is going to be pissed at you.

Too late.

No, seriously, he will mess you up.

Too late.

You look fine.

Fake.

For reals?

Yep.

Oh shit.

Yeah, more on that later.

Okay, where were you... oh yeah, you keep talking about the truth.

Yeah, here it is. Yahweh is a fuck up. He tries and tries, but he blunders all over. He didn't even make this world. He had help creating everything and he still fucked up over half of it.

How do you ever expect me to believe that.

I don't know. Duck-billed Platypus?

Point, but not enough to be convincing.

Okay. Listen, I can prove it to you really quick, with something you can't deny, because it's right in front of your face.

Alright, I'm listening.

Don't listen, look.

At what.

Me.

Damn, you're beautiful. You're perfect. If he made you, I'm not convinced that he was a fuck up.

No, not my body. I was Adam's first wife.

Oh.

Yeah.

Oh.

Uh-huh.

Wait, what if...

Nope.

What do you mean nope?

He made you.

Oh.

Yeah.

Oh my.

Uh-huh.

Oh my God... he made the wrong partner for Adam, then went back and did it better the next time.

Okay, take it easy on that... it hurts.

No, I mean it's really true.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

This is where you say the same thing for a while. Right. Got it. I saw this before... pattern. See I'm figuring you out finally.

Oh... sorry, I'll try to stop.

Listen, even if you don't want to believe the stuff about Gaea creating the world, and Yahweh and her fighting about all the screw ups that he did, and how she had to work extra hard to fix them... even if you don't want to hear all the stories about how petulant and demanding Yahweh really is... even if you take all of that out of evidence... you are living proof of the fallibility of God. Not me, you. If it was just me, you might claim that I was the fuck up. Nothing wrong with God... shit, it's that Lilith's fault. Blame her. It's not. It's not my fault. I wasn't raised and educated and given choices as I grew. I was molded from the earth, whole, as a complete finished adult. He set me in a way that he thought would be perfect for Adam. His whole focus around creation was Adam, you know that right? I was there for him, not for me. There was no way that he made both of us of equal importance and we just happened to not work out.

Are you sure? I mean, about that last part. Are you sure... because that last part started to make sense.

No, I'm sure.

Wait, how can you be sure? How can you know that?

He told me.

Who did?

Yahweh.

You're shitting me.

Nope.

You're fucking shitting me.

Not one bit.

So he created me as a...

Yes, as an attachment. You are here to service and please Adam. You are not important to him, except as how you reflect on him and keep Adam happy.

You expect me to listen to all of this... just sit here and listen...

Honey, I know it's hard.

… sit here... and listen...

/hug

/weeping

/hold /comfort